Fabulously Flawed.

Are you my Reason, Season, or Lifetime?

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 13:25:00 -0700

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

—Author Unknown

Save the Words!

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 16:48:00 -0700

Save the Words!:

Thanks to my good friend Jess, (http://bridgeiscliche.wordpress.com), one more word will be saved.

"Don’t make someone a priority if they only consider you an option."

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 11:36:19 -0700

“Don’t make someone a priority if they only consider you an option.”

What gives?

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 11:30:00 -0700

Can I vent a bit? Wait a minute, of course I can this is my blog…

I really have a hard time when, for example, you’re trying to get together with someone, and they make it SO difficult to do so. Trust me, my life is as busy and hectic as the next persons, but c’mon now, what gives?

I find myself constantly figuring out a way to make myself available- just to accommodate certain friend’s schedules. But every time I stick my neck out and bend over backwards in an attempt to make the plans, I get resistance. Why, why why?!

Ever heard of effort people?

Thinking about it, it reminds me of that quote “Don’t make others a priority if they only consider you an option.” And as much as I don’t want to believe that certain people view our friendship that way- I’m starting to think it’s true.

*Sigh*

But, I suppose all I can do is try, try and try again…. until the silence and resistance finally get to me, and my patience wears so thin it BREAKS.

Ahh… ok. I feel a bit better now after that mini-venting session. I don’t even care if anyone see’s this post. Who knew blogs could be so therapeutic?!

180.

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 12:53:58 -0800

As I sit here watching ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ for the first time (I know right, I can’t believe I haven’t seen it either), I’m also noticing some things in my apartment. What things you ask? Well, there are stuffed animals strewn about the living room floor, cartoons being blasted from the other room, and a pop up princess tent being assembled in front of me.

Yep, you guessed it…. I live with a 6 year old.

Now this time a year ago my apartment was messy, but that was my doing (hey, I cleaned once in a while, and when I did- it was amazing. Ask Brenda.) I probably would have been watching a classic movie on AMC, but not while seeing Palm Trees out my window.

San Diego has been, to say the least, a 180 from my life in Milwaukee. Never mind the 2200 miles from home thing, but I’ve obtained this interesting, exciting, nerve-wracking ‘mom’ role, which is taking me a while to get use to. Instead of going out every week and weekend night, I stay home a little more to hang out with my ‘daughter’. Instead of running errands alone, I take her with me. This new found sense of companionship and responsibility can be challenging, but I’m also finding it to be rather rewarding and beneficial (for both of us, I’d like to think.)

I find myself taking this newly-obtained-position one day at at time because, well, thats all I really can do, isn’t it? This chapter of my life is new, exciting and very different. But as I’ve said time and time again, it’s not BAD different. I’ve chosen to be in this position and so far I have no complaints. I’m teaching a child to read and write, and showing myself (as well as her), that I actually do Math and can help HER to better understand it. Seeing a little person figure all that out and become a smarter individual is priceless. And on the other hand, she has helped me realize that I DO have beneficial maternal instincts, I WILL be able to be an amazing mom eventually… and that I DON’T want a child of my own right away. :)

Besides, now I have someone who WANTS to watch Disney movies with me- AT THE THEATRE! I’m still not sure who’s more excited to see them but, never the less, it’s fun for me. Yesterday we saw Gnomeo and Juliet- and both highly recommend it.

Today, we’re going to color and play with stuffed animals… Ya know, maybe it’s healthy to tap into your inner child once in a while. In fact, I think I’ll let her help me do it. My life may have done a 180, but I’m growing in more ways than I could have ever expected.

Daisies and a love letter? I’m so lucky. Happy Hearts Day!

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 18:10:38 -0800

Daisies and a love letter? I’m so lucky. Happy Hearts Day!

"As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more."

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 11:10:17 -0800

“As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more.”

- Jules Renard

Whenever I think things could be better, I look out my apartment...

Sat, 05 Feb 2011 21:50:56 -0800

Whenever I think things could be better, I look out my apartment window and my mood immediately changes. I mean, how couldn’t it with a sight like this?

Oh, the past.

Sat, 05 Feb 2011 19:46:00 -0800

The past. I know I can’t be the only person who reflects on my past- but I may be the only person who lets it get the best of me. It consumes me at times. More than any normal human being I’m sure.

I find I’m constantly trying to convince myself that the people from my past are there for a reason, and there’s no point in dwelling over those lost friendships. You know the quote… “Don’t worry about people from your past, there is a reason they didn’t make it to your future.” It’s TOTALLY true. But that still doesn’t seem to make it easier…

It’s hard because I make a constant effort to keep in touch, and a lot of those people on the other end don’t reciprocate. And in turn, I beat myself up, thinking I did something wrong. When maybe I should just be thinking that we’ve all grown up and gone our separate ways, and we’re just not alike anymore. That those people in high school fulfilled the friendship needs of a 15 year old- not what I yearn for now at 24. And besides, if they’re not interested in talking to me, why should I try so hard to talk to them? Right? Right.

So- I’ve finally started to come to terms with that thought process as of late. Whenever I start to beat myself up, I think about the friends I have now, and how much happier I am with them. How much more in common we have and how much deeper we connect. How much they care about me. How much they just call to say ‘hi’ and see how my day is going.

In saying that.. I’m so thankful to be surrounded by amazing people. I’m sorry and sad that a lot of old “friends” from my past didn’t make it to my future… but in the end I know I tried my hardest to salvage those friendships, and that this is just how it’s suppose to turn out.

Past, thanks for the memories, but from now on I’m going to try my hardest to only focus on what I’m doing in the present. I’m ready to make some new memories!

"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who wont anymore, and..."

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 09:21:32 -0800

“There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who wont anymore, and who always will. So dont worry about people from your past, they are there for a reason.”

Christmas Tree in the lobby at Mueller College (where I work)....

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 17:30:32 -0800

Christmas Tree in the lobby at Mueller College (where I work). Not too shabby, considering the transportation and assembly process was a bit of work.. (but WAY worth it.)

"In memory of the late Elizabeth Edwards… ‎’The days of our lives, for all of us, are..."

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 16:06:00 -0800

“In memory of the late Elizabeth Edwards… ‎’The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren’t able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It’s called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious…’”

"I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes.."

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 13:53:00 -0800

The day after Thanksgiving may be my favorite day of the year. Why, you ask? Well, that’s when I give myself permission to begin OPERATION CHRISTMAS. (Because obviously starting before Thanksgiving is just ridiculous!) And, to nobody’s surprise, the first mission on my operational list is always: Christmas music!

Every year, my iPod gets overloaded with holiday music from Mannheim Steamroller to the infamous *NSYNC Christmas CD to good ole Bing Crosby. This year, to my surprise and joyous pleasure, Glee came out with a Christmas CD as well. My collection is officially complete!

I don’t know what it is about this genre of music that can lift you up if you’re having a bad day, or make you sing and dance in your chair while you’re at work (yes, that happens frequently… I actually got caught today). Maybe it’s the positive message it conveys? Or perhaps the tune of the songs are simply too catchy to dislike? I think all of the above are reasons people can’t get enough, but there is one reason that I particularly am obsessed with it…… the nostalgia.

As Kelly Clarkson’s version of ‘My Grown Up Christmas List’ plays, I have vivid memories of driving around town, back home in snowy, Milwaukee. As the nights got dark early and the snow drifted in, I found driving somewhat serene. Just me, my car, the snow and the music. With lyrics that ring true to me more now than ever before, it always makes me reflect on everything that has and is going on in my life. A few days ago in my car, I felt myself tearing up as it came on- it gets me every time. My boyfriend Matt looked at me and said, “this song gets me too.” That was when I realized that I wasn’t alone in how the music made me feel.

Now, “Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday’s” from *NSYNC is another classic that I find myself BLASTING through the car speakers every Christmas season. Every year for Christmas, since I can remember, my mom has made sugar cookies for my brother, sister and I to decorate. Never fail, when we get together, this song is blaring through my mom’s speakers (now I know where I get it from!) The simple tradition of decorating cookies allows my family to reminisce about our childhood and discuss what we’re capable of achieving in the year to come. It has always brought my family together, and I’m glad that I’ll be able to continue the tradition this year as well! (I’m going home for Christmas!) It’s a memory I will get to constantly relive each year, and I’m sad even thinking about the day when I won’t be able to! But, there’s no need for that now…

I am constantly amazed at how simple, minuscule things like Christmas music can make your life just a little better, and make you smile a little brighter. And although I won’t allow myself to listen to it before December 1st, I can appreciate those who want to get a head start on their Christmas cheer! As the song from Love Actually goes… “Christmas is all around me, and so the feeling grows!”

Best Christmas album ever. nuff said.

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 12:55:00 -0800

Best Christmas album ever. nuff said.

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."

Tue, 30 Nov 2010 12:57:04 -0800

““Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.””

New home. New friends. New inspiration.

Tue, 30 Nov 2010 10:23:00 -0800

Blogging was first introduced to me during my junior year of college at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. The class explored all aspects of journalism, blogging being an up and coming “new age” form of communication. It was mandatory for us to set up a blog, but as the class ended I slowly lost interest. I felt like I didn’t gain anything from it, no one ever seemed to read it. It’s wasn’t as exciting as when you post something on facebook and get almost instant responses from friends checking out your page. So, that was the end of my short blogging career.

Fast forward 4 1/2 years (wow, was my junior year of college really 4 1/2 yrs ago, yikes!)— anyway, more than 4 years later here I sit, a new California transplant from Wisconsin. A girl with a lot on her mind, who struggles to figure out how to express everyday thoughts and emotions- which have increased since being away from home. I was stuck, not sure how to get out of this funk.

Then, as I was facebook stalking (something I rarely do…. ok, maybe a lot) I came across the blog of my new friend Nikki (who is a California transplant as well, from Boston). She has a blog on tumblr., which allows her to do exactly what I’ve been yearning to do- speak what’s on her mind!!

Every thought, quote, song, emotion that you feel can be conveyed through a blog. It’s taken me a while to realize it, but you don’t need feedback from others to do so. I don’t need other people’s opinions to shape what I feel and who I am. So, she inspired me start this blog. Nikki, if you read this- thank you. I think this is the perfect medicine to cure my creative funk. And I couldn’t be more excited to see where it leads me…

I’m not sure whether it’s the nostalgic...

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 15:43:00 -0800

I’m not sure whether it’s the nostalgic “reminding me of my bittersweet high school music days” or the brilliant musical mash-ups and story lines- but Glee never ceases to amaze me. A perma-grin consumes my face throughout many of the episodes, while I find myself attempting to hide back tears throughout others. Hey, Glee brings out a lot of my emotions, what can I say? And on occassion, to my surprise, a guest star will make an amazing cameo that strikes a chord with me- Gwenyth Paltrow, after singing ‘Forget You’, you’re ok in my book.

"From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that’s it,..."

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 15:28:00 -0800

““From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that’s it, that’s all I’m interested in…””

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